What Was Missing
by Monroe Happens
Summary: There was something that was always missing. Everywhere she traveled, roamed, and had lived with her family, there was always something she had lacked. Maybe this time it would be different.
1. What Was Missing

_I don't know why I wrote this, but I did. I own some things. I don't know or remember if certain people even had names, so I gave them names. I like Charlie and his face. Gonna stop writing now and I only own what I own.  
_

* * *

 _I'm here because I love my children. I'm here because I love my children._ She repeated this mantra inside her mind. Esme looked around the room. Mostly women aside from Charlie, who looked equally uncomfortable and out of place.

"Now, if there's no other order of business-"

"I do. I have one thing I'd like to bring up." A woman Esme vaguely recognized stood up with her hand raised. She was nervous. The woman at the podium nodded at her.

"I noticed that the school has no sexual education. I think that's a crime. I mean other schools have programs." Her voice lowered as she trailed off. Whatever confidence she had faded.

There was silence. The woman at the podium appeared to be offended.

"This is about high school, not a brothel." She half snorted, half snarled.

"Sexual Education is something that we shouldn't _have_ to consider. It should be a class." Esme said. She really wished she hadn't said anything. She began to fidget.

"Oh? I'm surprised at you. I do hope that doesn't mean now we're going to have Planned Parenthood clinics all over town. Besides, we have Abstinence pamphlets." The Woman finished dismissively.

Now Esme was offended. She couldn't help but laugh from shock.

"Sure, that'll work if we lived in the 1640s and we still believed masturbating led to the Devil taking our souls."

That did not go well with the others. There were cries of shock, disgust and some scattered laughter covered with embarrassed coughs.

 _Should not have said that._ _ **Now**_ _I'm a freak. Hey, I'm immortal and feed off of blood, but oooh masturbating._ _ **That's**_ _the freaky stuff._

Esme rolled her eyes at herself. She really didn't want to be there.

"I had sex in high school." Charlie said. He lowered his head after he spoke, almost surprised as if he had spoken himself.

"Great, two supposed "leaders" of our community who clearly have no moral fiber."

"Hey! I married her! Then we divorced, but I wasn't sleeping with my entire class. Teenagers have sex. I have interrupted enough on that one damn hill to testify to that."

"My daughter," the woman who started this discussion said, " has a boyfriend. She's a bright girl, but I would feel better if she were taught . . this subject and was aware of facts and how to protect herself."

"I agree." Charlie pointed to her. Esme nodded.

"Yes. We've all been there, been teenagers and have dealt those awful confusing and frustrating emotions."

 _This is ridiculous._

"Fine. Next Wednesday we'll discuss this at length."

She left the podium and as she passed Esme and Charlie, she sent a particularly nasty icy glare.

"Well. I don't think we're going to be invited to sit with her at lunch." Esme cringed after she said that. Charlie looked over.

"Damn. I was going to bring my famous hoagies." He stood and gathered himself to leave.

"Eh, Not a fan of bread." She shrugged. She swung her purse over her shoulder.

 _The meeting is over, why am I still here?_

Charlie turned his nose up at that.

"Don't tell me you're one of those anti gluten freaks. You should know things, you married a doctor."

She laughed a bit.

"No. I just never cared for bread. Even when I was still-I loved pasta." She trailed off. They were approached by the other woman. She held out her hand.

"I guess that could have been worse. I'm Lena. Angela's mom. I think our daughters are friends." Charlie nodded.

"Yeah. Bells talks about her sometimes."

"Can you believe that woman. Abstinence only? That didn't work for the Puritans." Lena shook her head.

"You read the _Crucible_ too?"

"My first husband was very _intense_ about sex and modesty, I thought he _was_ from the 1640s." Esme was not sure why she felt comfortable enough disclosing this information, but it didn't feel wrong.

There was something that was missing. Everywhere she traveled, roamed, and had lived with her family, there was always something she had lacked. Connection. Friends.

"Do you two want to go out for a drink?"

Maybe this time it will be different.

They all met up at a local bar. Esme order a red wine and felt anxious, scared, happy and three kinds of cold pain. It was all so new and exciting. She was how old and this was the first time she may actually have friends.

 _I don't know them yet. Hold back. Maintain._

She straightened herself up, shoulders back,

"She's seventeen. Yesterday, I kissed her knee because she fell from her tricycle. Now, she's seventeen, has a boyfriend and all I can think of, is please God, use condoms."

Charlie played with his beer.. Lena looked at her cocktail morosely

"I remember I used to have to hold the bike, even after I took the extra wheels off, because Bells was terrified. The look on her face when she realized she was doing everything on her own. She was so proud and happy." He laughed as he trailed off.

"Oh. Angie, when she was learning to ride a bike, she would lean to the left too much. She broke her arm once. I hated myself so much. I wanted to dismantle the damn thing. But, sure enough, the next day, she got on it and her father was out there with her. She's a determined girl who knows what she wants."

"Trees."

"Trees." Charlie repeated. His curiosity piqued.

"Trees are good." Lena supplied awkwardly.

"No. That's what. Edward is very into himself. He would spend time alone and inside. I wanted him to go out in the sun, if you will. So, I taught him the art of tree climbing. You may laugh, but it is an art! He still keeps to himself, but he's happier and he doesn't spend all day in his room now."

"When was it that we lost ourselves and become only mirrors?" Lena twirled the straw in her drink.

"I love dancing. My husband and I would go to Portland and dance at this one-hell, dive. I love my daughter, but I miss being a wife, being Lena.. I miss. I miss, this." She motioned around her.

"I don't remember the last date night." Esme frowned. She drank her wine and forced herself to believe it was another red substance.

"I haven't dated." Charlie added sadly.

"Billy hasn't been hooking you up? I think you need a new wing-man." Esme tsk'd playfully.

"Maybe."

"I hear the head of the PTO is marvelous and has a strong moral fiber." Lena tried to sound serious.

"Sounds perfect. I'll get my Bible and we can burn some witches."

"Now, now, my dear Sheriff, burning witches is something that is traditionally done on the third date." Esme wagged her finger and mockingly glared.

"That's probably why they never stay." He sighed heavily.

"Chin up, buttercup. We'll find you someone. You now have two fabulous advisers."

Esme heart leapt up after she heard Lena say those words. Well, figuratively anyway.

Esme wasn't sure when of the time when she had finally stumbled in through the front door, but she did not care. She now had two friends. This morning, she had none and now, as the moon hung over head, she had two.

She fumbled a bit with her shoes and the door.

 _Shoes._

She started laughing.

She kicked off one.

"Shoooooes."

"What time is this?" A very angry voice growled. Lights suddenly turned on.

Rosie was not happy. Her arms were crossed like the angry parent who stayed up all night while their ungrateful teenager was running wild around town.

"I know you." Esme found that hilarious and nearly lost her balance.

"What's the joke?"

"I like wine. Wine is good." She continued to walk awkwardly, one shoe off and the other still on.

"You didn't answer my question." Rosie followed her.

"I must ask you to adopt a less _marital_ tone of voice."

Esme began the ascent on the stairs to her room.

"Victoria is killing stupid humans and you were gone all day. No one knew where you were. When was the last time you fed? No wonder you can't stand up."

"I don't have to answer or justify myself to you."

"Fine, then I'll go fuck off too, because apparently that's OK now!"

"Hey, here's a novel idea, why don't you two take your issues outside, so those of us who care about studying for their damn-

"Emmet, shut up."

"Eddie, go stalk your girlfriend. Adults are talking."

" _Everyone shut up!" E_ sme rubbed her temples. _I love my children. I love them. I love them._

" Rose, we'll talk later."

"Oh, will you be around?"

"I usually am."

"Like today?"

She pushed passed Esme. Thank the powers that be for reinforced doors. Whatever good vibes the wine and her experiences that night had given her had faded. Not faded. Her system was flushed clean.

Esme looked down at her ridiculous feet and slipped off the other shoe. She threw down her purse, sat on the steps, bite her hand and cried.

Esme loved her children, but that didn't stop her from feeling empty inside.


	2. Sunshine

_I grew up in a military family, so connecting with people wasn't something I did. I would assimilate and then have a clean break. It wasn't until I was in college when I realized it was OK to keep people in your life longer than a year. I guess that's what I'm putting into these people.  
_

* * *

The sunshine of her life, that is what she has always called him. It was truth, He was the happiest and most positive member of the family.

He could not see the point of being miserable, even when he was still human. Life and unlife were meant to be lived to the fullest and self appointed misery was just not his style.

She was the sunshine of his life. He always had a special connection with her. An intimacy that the others could not touch, not her mate or his, and not even Edward, the favorite son. Emmett and Esme were a different kind of soulmate.

As the sunshine of each others lives, he refused to let this sadness in her remain. It was morning when he had found her on the stairs, not moving or making any sound. She did not respond to his touch or speech at first **.**

He would not let this go. He sat next to her. After several minutes he pulled her close and Esme rested her head on his shoulder. He gripped her tighter as she held onto him and began to weep. Her cries were soft at first, but they rose.

He's never seen her cry before. Only smile. He's heard from the others, that she's had darker emotions, but not when he was with her. Never.

"My shoulder is yours, Momma."

She continued to weep and she buried her face into him. She's going to be OK. She's going to be OK.

She pulled away slightly and looked up. Their eyes met and she wiped her tears away. She pulled away and tried to straighten herself out. She had not wanted him or anyone to see this.

When was she human, a woman who cried was expected and a part of what made them so fragile and weak. That thought was still somewhat present today and she tried her best to appear as strong as she could, but then again, she never found emotions a weakness either.

"I'm sorry." She smiled sadly. He waved his hand.

"I locked Pops in the bathroom so I could find you first. This was clearly an Esme and Emmett mo." He pulled into him again.

"Clearly."

"Sunshine of my life, anything I can do?"

She smiled and remained silent for a moment. She kissed the top of his head.

"Stay bright."

She stood up. She started to walk up the steps, but turned. Something he had said.

"Did you really lock him in the bathroom?"

"Yup. He didn't appreciate it. He said some very hurtful things." He pouted playfully.

"How dare he." She said mockingly angry. Her smile turned brighter and Emmett's happiness swelled.

"I know. You're not keeping him in line, woman."

"I see. I have to step up the game," she started to move up again, but stopped and turned again," thank you, sunshine of my life."

She continued up the stairs.

When she had entered their room she was welcomed by swearing, snarling and growling, death threats and a very English accent she hasn't heard without requesting it. Her love was indeed, quite pissed off.

Though, he could easily break the door and leave, so why didn't he?

"Is that the mouth you use to please your mate? Because I don't think she'd appreciate it."

Esme removed the toy that was shoved underneath the door and opened it. She was pulled in and the door slammed behind.

Oh. She was going to enjoy the rest of the morning.

"I've never had a friend before." She said some time later. She had met Lena for lunch. Charlie could not come because he had some police thing to do.

"Never? I don't believe you." Lena ate her salad savagely, like she's never eaten before. Esme loved to observe others. She often would take notes, both mental and physical on the actions of others.

"I never had the time. There were people in my life, my parents and Charles, but I never had someone who I connected with until-I never had a friend. I think it was because I was always moving. I had to assimilate and then leave. Having a connection outside my family wasn't conducive to that."

Esme felt sick inside.

"I ruined my son." She finished her drink.

"Do you intend to move tomorrow?"

"No."

"Then good. Connect with me."

It took all of Esme strength not to jump across the table and hug her. Instead she simply smiled and nodded.

An hour later the two parted ways with a promise to meet again a few days later for drinks. Charlie had texted that he find time that weekend.

Esme heart swelled as she walked along the sidewalk. She didn't feel empty in this moment. Just full. For the first time in a long time.

"Esme."

Then it all shriveled.

"Oh. Afternoon." Esme bowed her head. That woman, the president of the PTO.

"How are you?" It was obvious she had no genuine interest, but merely abiding by the appropriate etiquette protocols.

"Just recruiting more sinners for my sex party." Esme was not sure where the hell that came from.

"Cute. I can't say I'm shocked. I have heard stories about what goes on in your household."

Esme turned to walk in the opposite direction but stopped.

"Sexual education isn't _wrong_. It's not _forcing_ others to have sex. Today isn't the same culture as when the _Bible_ was written. There are illnesses that can be prevented. I'm not advocating for underage sex, but it's important for them to understand what's out there."

Esme was desperate for her to understand. It was a moment before there was a response.

"Whore."

She walked away.

Esme did not like her.

Emmett was the sunshine of her life and was her sound board. Her mate usually just smiled and kissed her until they made love, which infuriated her as much as she was pleasured.

Emmett listened when she bitched.

Currently they were cuddled together on the couch. A football game was on, both avid fans and had their traditional bet going with the punishment of punishments for the loser.

"And then she called me a whore."

"What? I _will_ slash her tires"

"Who calls someone a whore over that? I don't understand people today sometimes. I want a time machine. Where's The Doctor? Give me the Tardis." She shook her head.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOM."

Esme and Emmett both looked over. Alice playfully shouted as loud as she could. Esme gave Emmett a confused look before walking towards the screaming..

Charlie was at the front door. Alice walked away, smiling.

"Charlie?"

"Well?"

She shook her head confused.

"I, um. I have a date."

Charlie was wearing blue jeans and a red and brown plaid shirt. Charlie came over for her advice.

"No. No, plaid. Never plaid." She pulled Charlie inside and circled around him. Processing his attire and build.

"What's wrong with plaid?" He pouted. He pulled at the shirt.

"Are you going, camping, fishing, or hiking?"

"No."

"Exactly. No plaid."

She took another moment to consider what would be appropriate.

"You're about the same build as my doctor. Come. " She motioned for him to follow her.

"Come where?"

"I think blue would go well for you."

Esme was about to give fashion advice to someone outside her family. What is life?

Sometime later Esme returned to the couch. Emmett was smiling like the Chesire cat. This was never a good.

"What happened?"

"Your team lost."

He stood up and started dancing.

"Annihilated, Oh, yeah!"

He looked ridiculous. Rosalie stopped by.

"Thank G _od_. I hate when you lose. Celibacy is boring." Emmett pulled her close.

Esme cursed her luck.

As the loser, one month without sex.

"Challenge."

"Denied."

Emmett was the sunshine of her life, but the worst winner ever. How was she going to explain this to her mate?

She shook her head and braced herself. Thirty days and counting.


End file.
